Yes, I just wrote a blunt title.
And yes, I am serious about it.
Sure, I will easily admit to discussing my relationship turned marriage, but as someone who is almost surviving the first year of marriage and well over a year together, I will tell y’all something important- no one truly cares to hear about your relationship. Sounds bitchy and rude as hell, but it is true. As someone who was single for a long time before Tyler, I will say that nothing is more frustrating than hearing about only one topic, and you can’t relate. What is even more annoying is the same people who always want to post it or discuss it, have the most issues and problems. I shortly and quickly discovered to not discuss my marriage, and it has worked wonders. Here’s why:
1) No one wants to hear about your problems (unless they’re nosey or wanting to see things go south)
My biggest pet peeve is seeing people’s relationship problems posted on the Internet. Even more so that annoys me is seeing the play by play of negativity towards the partner or situation. I get it- you are on the verge of breaking up. You are annoyed. You are mad/pissed. I have been there, done that plenty of times in the first year of marriage. However, why would you want others to know your issues? Why are you needing acceptance from others? Why broadcast your problems?
This gets to me to
2) Show some respect to your partner
The only ones who should know of your partner’s flaws, bad situations or mistakes are you and them. I get it- you want them to understand the issue at hand. You want them to work on it and change. However, humiliation and public eyes will not be the solution. It shows a lack of respect for their privacy, and also cues immaturity for you. Instead of getting back at them in a passive aggressive way, think what you want to say. Instead of actually making a status or subtweet, talk to them. Instead of venting to our family and friends and then having to defend your future actions, have a conversation and work it out.
3) Many people want your happiness – and will come to get it
Do I believe everyone wants my husband? No. But do I think someone will try to replace me if they could and think they could? Hell yes. The thing is this- you will never be able to steal someone, because they are choosing to stay or stray. You also cannot duplicate a person’s relationship, because those two people will always have their own unique vibe and connection, due to it being between themselves. However, many people will become envious and want to copy what you have and want to have it for themselves. I respect being honest about your status and pride for your significant other, but it isn’t good to constantly gloat. A good man and woman will never cheat, lie or feel the need to overcompensate. Don’t put yourself out to where you must constantly defend.
4) Nothing is more beautiful than a true relationship outside social media
I love seeing couples that are themselves with or without social media. I hate relationship goals- they are competitive with others, when they cannot relate. There is no sense in promoting them. You can make your own money and purchase material. You can kiss anyone in a certain pose. You can take pictures with anyone. However, how many souls will support your dreams, love you unconditionally, give you loyalty, treat you like royalty and be your best friend? One person. That reflects in any situation and shines through everything.
5) Be proud but not bragging
I will admit- I did the latter. It bit me though- I thought about all the times I bragged and how I should have kept humble. I feel blessed now, not so much lucky or entitled. I think a lot of times, we come across rude in relationships because we believe we acquired so much knowledge. In reality, unless you are in a successful marriage, you are ignorant. I was single forever and knew more than most taken friends. It depends on how you absorb information and what you are willing to learn. I talked to more guys than I can remember, dated a few and yet still got cheated on and went on dates with douches, including one that was gay and made me pay. Listen to others, focus on your own and be happy you got someone to vent to.
One’s trash is another’s treasure, and I plan on keeping my gem away from the public eye. Like I said, keep the status and happiness on the TL and drama & problems on the DL, because all you truly need is love.