As a real wife who is a fan of the “Real Housewives” series, I can’t lie when I know it’s a guilty pleasure. Though half of these women aren’t housewives, or even a wife, I can somewhat relate. I was the working girl. I was that single friend. It was only a year ago I met the guy who would eventually put two rings on it.
I seriously thought I would have been that single friend who’d go through a sperm bank.
Now, my sperm bank is a 250 pounds and in a 6’5, tanned, hazel/”Huskie” eyed, multicultural, multicam uniformed body.
Every Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and whatever else day, I faithfully watch and waste 60 minutes of my life. As a future psychologist and current psychology major/sociology minor, it’s fascinating to see people living their life in front of a camera. Whether it’s accurate, authentic and genuine can be questioned, but I feel these women sign up, thinking the positive. The negativity comes from circumstances and what is brought into their lives- or what they bring.
Now, while watching Real Housewives of Orange County, Vicki is the most recurrent cast member, even for the entire Housewives series. She is famous off of being the “OG of the OC”
While I agree with Vicki the majority of the time, as a military wife, I didn’t appreciate her judging Meghan King Edmonds for her marriage. Edmonds happens to be married to a retired MLB player, Jim Edmonds, who has business ventures and other jobs. They only get to spend time together 50% of the time, and the other half is work.
Vicki’s quote was the following: “How are you newlyweds and never spending time together? I would want to be with my husband all the time. That’s not a real marriage.”
I have one point, and one question:
My point: As a military wife, I can say I never get to see my husband fully. I will never get 100% of his time. Even more so, my husband’s job is combative, so half of his time is spent in training/the field. We will never have a ‘normal relationship’ where I get to see him daily, for the rest of my life. I spent the first 9 months of our relationship a part. I lived in Louisville, did my college, while he worked through a unit that allowed down time. We eventually were able to live together for 3 months, and just this Sunday, separated again. Our cat was rejected from our connecting/international flight to Germany in Baltimore, because of a mishap of wrong information. I went home with our cat while Tyler went abroad. He spent hours with me, finding a flight, calming us both down and holding me before he left. He made sure I was okay before he departed.
If that isn’t enough love in one day to show a year’s worth, I don’t want to know the details of your love life ever.
I have to be two months away while he goes through in processing, settles into his unit, figures out housing, foreign policies and adjusts into the European lifestyle. When I come over, he might be there, or might be deployed in Turkey. WE don’t know, but I know to make the most of it. It’s the life I signed up for.
Daily, we Skype/Facebook messenger talk, despite a 6 hour time zone different. Every time I see him, I smile huge and feel loved. We did the same during my duration in college, and it was faithful. Every morning, I was given a good morning text, and a good night text. Every time I was out, he would make sure I was fine. Every time he was out, I checked on him.
I realize he wants to deploy again. He wants to do training. He wants to go to Ranger school. He wants to be in the field, and experience his MOS again. I am fine with that, and that takes time away from us. However, his success is my happiness and vice versa.
Vicki, do you consider military relationships real?
Because they’re definitely not for the weak. They’re not for the faint hearted. They’re not for the unfaithful, the liars. They’re not for the ones who can’t realize they’re not being selfish, but being selfless. They’re not for the ones who need a foundation- they are the foundation. They’re not for the ones who can’t not spend time together- they value time together.
I absolutely love my husband, and support all his endeavors. I know it requires time away, yet so does my education, and we seem to tolerate each other. If there’s love, there’s a way.
In my opinion, as long as their partner isn’t lying, cheating, abusing, mistreating, disrespecting or committing any major offenses, don’t worry about the relationship. Let them be happy. If their happiness is the other’s, if they are motivating for them to do better and be better and as long as they make a surplus instead of “completing” each other, that’s a damn good relationship.
Every relationship has its ups and downs. Every relationship has its flaws and problems. Every relationship has highs, lows and plateaus.
But none of it is ever your business.
I have always said the following: When someone is throwing rocks at your mirror, it’s because they have the most cracks in their reflection.
I love you babe.