Cheetahs, Cougars and Tygas, Oh My 

It’s official- people are already counting down the days for Kylie Jenner to be legal. Legal, in the state of California, is also the same age for consent: 18. Not only will she be able to be an adult finally, but she’ll also have legal rights that are freaking out her family. 

The biggest news we hear about Kylie is the fact that she is with an older guy, named Tyga, who has a child with another woman. Reportedly, he left his family for the youngest Jenner. She was 16/17 at this time, and he is 25. If she turns 18 and stays with him, they can combine their money together in an account, get married, move in together, etc. 

On top of this, Kylie was cheated on. He denies it, but I believe anyone who has been reportedly cheated on (like myself) knows signs, and sees it. 

As a 21 year old married gal, I want to tell Kylie to run. Run as far as you can away. Now, believe it or not, I say this not out of judgement. I’m not at all judging Kylie- I am actually speaking from experience. 

Yep, I was Kylie Jenner before. I was involved with an older man when I was 18. 

When I was 18, I got a job at a restaurant. I was freshly graduated, single and having to pay for college. I was optimistic, slightly naive and hungry. I hungered for success and my education. I also hungered for a relationship. It wasn’t for the closeness or for intimacy- I just wanted a companion. I found him at my job. Hell, he hired me. I was 9 years his junior and though we never said we were officially together, we sure acted like it. Though we never did anything physical or sexual, I had a close emotional relationship with him. Though I was only 18, I thought I was mature enough to to “handle” a 27 year old. 

Boy was I wrong. 

Instead, I got close with someone who was at a much different stage of his life, who knew what his future would be, and it was not involving me. Sure, he liked me a lot and vise versa. Yeah, he and I were a lot alike. Yes, I thought I found the right guy. But guess what- when you’re younger, you do stupid things. You think you know everything, when in reality, you know nothing. What you think you know is off of your home environment, which might not normal. You have limited life experiences. You have only been exposed to so little in the world. 

I was an ignorant 18 year old, who was going to get hurt. I did, but not by him. I hurt myself, because I had unrealistic expectations. I though of life in such a limited perspective, that as I got older, I realized it. I started to come of age, having epiphanies. I had two choices: become bitter or become better. 

Though it hurt at first, I realized my own selfishness. I did it, because I wanted it for immature reasons. I didn’t care for him as much as having him. It was a pride issue- get the person everyone else wants. We did this in high school too- we competed and had drama. Real relationships don’t add excess drama or make you feel insecure. You’re not competing with others. The reality was this: he liked me, he respected me, but he slept with others and drank too much. 

With time and aging, I realized how much I had to live for. I wasn’t meant to be someone’s girl, or someone’s eye candy. There is so much more to life. You choose the choice and you live with what you chose. I am glad I chose to walk away, because that life would not have aligned to present me. I have no idea where I would be at, but I know for a fact I would have had to age mentally a decade, for someone not worth my time anymore. I would have changed myself, and that is not okay. Never settle, never change, never level. Be you, be influenced, be inspired. 

Instead, as I have gotten older, I have been better than ever. I am married to the greatest guy ever. After being single and casually dating for 2 years, I met my Mr. Right. Yes, I was 20 and known him for a short period, but I knew. I thank my last for that. I learned a lesson, which turned into a major blessing. I figured out what I liked/disliked. I found myself, got part of my education, made a plethora of connections and friends, and truly am happy with who I am today. Nothing in life is worth throwing away for, especially when young. 

I knew Tyler was for me, because I felt the connection. He would support me, be my best friend, add to my happiness and share life with me. We were two wholes who made a surplus, not two halves needing another to feel complete. He and I are a lot alike, and we bicker. We get it out. We laugh it off and move on. We want our children to be like each other. We see the masterpieces in each other, and see the work of art. We have helped mold one another, and become stronger.

Go to college. Enlist. Work. Volunteer. Travel. Do something productive. Become who you want to be. Complete goals. Conquer dreams. Aspire to inspire before you expire. Be happy. 

Kylie, you deserve to be happy. I promise you, no one can do that, besides yourself. Find yourself first, and all the right choices come. No boy can do that- only a man, and a man will come when it’s the right time. No man will cheat, lie, steal, and/or do other actions that would make you question his character.

There is nothing wrong with dating older, when you get older. I personally know an old classmate who has married a older guy & is in love and happy. Some women are blessed enough to find hat right guy/girl and be young. I was. However, you have to know yourself, be comfortable in your skin, and accept the responsibilities/challenges. I know many are immature, and chase younger people for that reason. It was behind my case too. Be with someone because you’d enjoy life with them and can’t see yourself without them. Stop pulling the lonely card, and stop dating for the companionship. Nothing feels better than being by yourself and having the ability to feel content. 

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